It seems 2020 hasn’t been a good year for many people and again we’ve lost a lot of people we care about. None more so than our friends in the transgender community. A community of people who often face disadvantage. Normally I’d write grandiose passages to speak of hope but this year I think many of us are at our operational limits.
It’s been 6 months since a friend of a friend decided that they’d had enough, there was nothing left for them in this world and they took their own life. That moment many of us were frantically trying (but ultimately fruitlessly) to save a life and for a time it showed a sense of cohesion amongst people and friendships seemed to form.
That feeling of community and cohesion faded quickly into obscurity after we made our memorial broadcast as we were told not to talk about it any more, despite having to be quiet for a week afterwards due to instructions from the police. Therefore when we could talk about the events free from any legal implications, we were restricted from doing so and we couldn’t decompress or process what had happened ourselves and it makes me feel like the words echoed on our memorial page are hollow. “You have friends and you are loved.”
I don’t feel loved by many either, so I can relate. I am truly sorry that our world is a vapid, emotionally vacant, uncaring place with a disgusting excuse for compassion.
While we may not have really known each other, we ended up embroiled in the entire situation (and very emotionally invested) as all we wanted was to try and help. We didn’t want any personal gain or kudos from helping. One of the reasons we helped (besides genuine human decency) is because it could very easily have been one of us and I like to think that people I didn’t know would want to help too.
I light candles on this day to guide wayward spirits home. I hope you all find your way.
Edited on 22/11/2020 – Paragraph added, sentence order adjusted slightly, and some words added to improve readability.